


The Panda and the Hedgehog

by pandrena, servantparent



Category: Panda Pearl (Comics), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Chaos Emeralds, Crossover, Foul Language, Other, POV First Person, Swearing, this is so cringy and i do not care
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23015080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandrena/pseuds/pandrena, https://archiveofourown.org/users/servantparent/pseuds/servantparent
Summary: In a separate dimension, there lives a panda mobian and some other weirdos. When a fight with their villain, Lord Rennington, gets rather ugly, said villain sends them all to Sonic's dimension...Now, they must get back home and - oh, also, that Rennington guy followed them and wants the Chaos Emeralds.A for-fun fic between OCS from my webcomic, Panda Pearl, and Sonic the Hedgehog. Please note you needn't know anything about my comic to read this fic! It's all taking place in a Sonic AU.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	The Panda and the Hedgehog

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very self indulgent fic, I should say now. I know my writing isn't the best and this idea is kind of silly, but please bear with me (ha) as I have a bit too much fun. I'll add chapter art later on.
> 
> PS: the character Allen belongs to my buddy S, who is servantparent on Tumblr. They help me write Allen's dialogue and are very kind to let me use them for this silly story. Find their tumblr here: https://servantparent.tumblr.com/

When you picture epic fantasy battles, you imagine them on a rugged landscape; you imagine forests, fairies, and magic and picture your favorite characters casting spells and using enchanted weapons. Maybe you even take into account the amount of mist and sparkles and glow and general effects…Maybe you don’t picture any of this...If you’re the one person who doesn’t picture all that, then congratulations. You have a brain and a good taste in fantasy novels.

See, magic and fantasy isn’t always like the stuff you read. Yeah, you have your heroes and villains and stereotypical side characters...But it really isn’t as fun as the books make it seem. Trust me on this, because I’m in a fight right now as we speak. Let me tell you, it’s not a walk in the park. In fact, it downright sucks ass…

Especially when you were losing, like I was.

But don’t get me wrong; it’s not like I wanted to be fighting in the first place. I would rather be doing anything right now except this...But turns out I can’t control fate like that. Or whatever this was...Eh, I’m startling to ramble, and you don’t care. So let’s get down to it.

My name is Nori Fuchi. I’m a panda. I eat bamboo, I teach a job at an elementary school, and I was currently getting the shit beat out of me by a guy with a sword. That part, at least, is fantasy-esque. Who else would carry a sword these days but a knight...or some power hungry politician with way too much magical power?

With a yell I wish I hadn’t let out, soon followed by a grunt of pain, I slammed through a wall. I landed on my feet somehow, but I’ll be damned if I stayed on them long before a fist came flying and I narrowly avoided losing a few teeth.

Still I ended up on my back a few moments later, laid on the ground with a sword at my chin and threatening to decapitate if I made any sudden moves. Above me stood an obnoxiously tall, purple hedgehog with waved quills and a sickening sharp-toothed smile. This was “Lord Rennington,” an overpowered dipshit who was quite fond of making a mess of things for his own personal gain. I thankfully just called him “Edgar”.

“Somehow,” came his stupid voice, “I imagined our family reunion to be a little more formal.”

Oh, yeah. He was my brother-in-law, too. Funny how that works out – your sister marries a guy and he’s out to kill you regularly. In any case, I was fucked in this situation no matter how you looked at it.

“Any final wishes? Last will and testaments?” He hummed at me mockingly. I scoffed, in disbelief he was even asking. Guess he was expecting me to be thankful...

“Yeah, no. I’m not wasting breath on you.”

“ _Tsk, tsk..._ Tragic. I was hoping you’d actually be a challenge this time...”

And like that, I died.

…

……...Just kidding, I was fine. I wasn’t gonna die anytime soon, and not to this loser. But this WAS a fucked situation, so I needed an equally fucked way out of it. Said “way out of it” turned out to be a small rabbit jumping onto the hedgehog’s back and giving a Tarzan-like cry.

Edgar stumbled from his surprise more than the actual action of his daughter jumping on him, but I took the opportunity to make like a banana and split the fuck away from his sword. “Thanks, kid. Your timing is impeccable, as always.”

“No problem!” The rabbit smiled at me, then glared at her father whose back she was clinging to. “This is the FIFTH time this MONTH, Dad!!! Maria is tired of fighting you!”

“I’m so glad we share the sentiment, my cinnabun-bunny...” And like any good father, Edgar patted her head and threw her off. Threw her real far. She was fine, probably. She tended to bounce back...No pun intended with the rabbit thing.

But this left me and him again. Oh, did I mention he never stopped smiling? It was creepy. And he gave one of those creepy smiles at me now. “Where were we, then? Ah yes. You were about to die.”

“Sorry, I have a class to teach tomorrow, so I’ll have to pass on that – wait until school’s out for the summer.” With that, the fight resumed, though my side was looking pretty pathetic with being unable to land any punches.

I get this looks like a shitty battle to you, but this was all pretty routine for us. Welcome to the hell that is my life, right? Some more individuals joined the fight – namely, my sister Emi, a wolf (not the sister who married Edgar) and some sort of reptile named Rennird. But really, we can learn about them later.

Right now, I was focused on something other than scenery, after all. I was focused on not letting this bastard get a hold on my emerald.

The Pearl Emeralds (stupid name, I know) are something of a magical power. Nobody really gets them, and that Rennird guy I mentioned hardly even believes in them. But even he can understand it’d suck to let Edgar get any grasp on the remaining seven...Mine particularly, considering I die without it – but that’s a long story. All you need to know is I couldn’t survive without it, and Edgar had no intention of using it for the greater good so I had no intention of giving it to him.

Besides, he was being selfish – his “eighth” Emerald WAS the most powerful anyway, but he wanted the rest too. Greedy jerk.

While I was lost in thoughts explaining this shit, I seemed to have miscalculated a few steps. I was being choked, now, and it wasn’t exactly the family bonding I expected...Not that I expected anything LESS, but you know.

He held me up, my feet dangling and my hands trying to pry his fingers from my throat. “Honestly, Nori,” he murmured, “You could’ve avoided a lot of this if you had just-”

“Just handed it over? Fat chance.”

“Hmm...I see.” Edgar smiled, but there was a look in his eyes I didn’t quite enjoy. “Emily wouldn’t like it if I killed you, now that I think about it...” _Yeah, now you think about it._ “Perhaps I’ll just rid of you some other way...”

And then I noticed, finally, the Pearl Emerald in his other hand. Glowing purple in an octagon shape (who knew emeralds came in anything but green…?) I had a terrible feeling in my stomach.

A really bad one, indeed.

And it was an instinct, I think, that I should’ve been worried more about. Ah, well, my worry came when the glow became larger. I squirmed in his grasp, but he tightened his hold. “Ah, ah, no struggling now! You lost, Nori. Winner gets it all, no?”

“Nori!” came Emi’s voice, and Rennird stared. Both stood relatively near...

“Uncle Nori!” The rabbit girl was running over again, looking quite horrified. “Uncle Nori, are you okay?!” Obviously not...

“Of course he is,” Edgar purred, and the emerald’s glow began to expand – blinding everyone present. “Now then...Maria, be a good girl. Pack your tooth brush, too.”

“What are you talking about?! Let him -”

And then the emerald...Well, it sort of exploded. Not really, it was probably intact afterwards...But the energy shot through our bodies. All present, except Edgar...I even saw someone else join, but I wasn’t sure who in the light -

But in a flash, we were gone.

……..

………….

………………….

…………………………….

……………………………..

I woke up in a lot of pain – getting tossed around and beat up really makes you sore, apparently – but I didn’t really know where I was. In a groaning half conscious state I sat up, rubbing my head, and glanced around.

Well, I must not be dead, because this wasn’t heaven or hell...Unless one of those is made entirely of metal and security cameras with blinking lights. Was I in a damn prison cell? Did Edgar throw me in jail? No, he wasn’t that type. He was the type to kill prisoners...Maybe he planned on torturing me first, now that I lost. All I knew right now was that it was cold and metal didn’t make it any warmer for me. Fur was useless, apparently, against the elements.

What was the weirdest thing to me is that I still had my emerald. It was located in an eye-patch covering my left eye, and I was very surprised he hadn’t taken it. Just what was going on?

There was a shuffling behind me, and I turned to the source – Maria, my niece, was lying on the floor in a heap. She sat up with a mumble of “ _Whuzzat?_ ” and peered around. I expected her to be surprised like I was, maybe jump up with as much energy as she had had before...But no. She blinked her heavy eyelids a few times and laid back down with another mumble: “ _Hmm...Snoozie time..._ ”

This fourteen year old rabbit had just woken up in what my guess was a prison cell, and gone back to sleep with a cutesy phrase. Sometimes, I wondered what went on in her mind. I shook my head and decided to investigate anything I could, though. Seemed like my only option.

But as it turns out, my cell was pretty bare. Didn’t exactly resemble a vacation home with the lack of furniture. Correction: the lack of literally anything but empty space. There was nothing to investigate. I didn’t see Emi or Rennird anywhere, either...Nor did I see that other figure who had jumped into the light at the last second – though I suspected now I knew who it had been. Still, I wondered where all three of them went. Clearly not the same place as me and Maria…

Just when I was starting to wonder if I ought to follow Maria’s lead and sleep, however, I heard a voice down the hall, and footsteps.

“………..never around when I need him….”

That was not Edgar’s voice at all. Frankly, this voice sounded like a funny, squeaky horn of some sort. I immediately disliked it and wondered if it belonged to some sort of circus performer. Soon, a really fat egg-shaped man in red stepped into view; He was way taller than me – even taller than Edgar. He was no animal, either – well, maybe I’d relate him to a naked mole rat, but even then, he was uglier. Shocking, I know...He also needed to trim his mustache. This guy might as well have worked at the circus, actually…

But he paid me no mind. Thank God, because I didn’t want him to. I don’t think he even saw me, seeming distracted and irritable…And then he vanished down the hall, or at least out of sight, and I realized I had been tensed up. The guy gave me weird vibes, I’ll tell you that.

Still, I peered around outside the cage...didn’t seem like there was any way to escape this stupid prison…Oh, wait, maybe there was. Across the hall from my cell was, to nobody’s surprise, another cell. And inside, I saw another sleeping figure – and felt relief.

“Allen?”

Just about instantly, the figure’s floppy ears perked up at my voice. “H-huh? O-oh!” They would get up now, looking at me and rushing to the bars of their cell to be closer to me. I expected if not for this barrier, I would have been tackled to the ground with love. “N-nori, are you OK?! I-I saw Edgar hurting you, and...” They weren’t even worried about themself at the moment, but rather my safety…

I gave a soft, reassuring smile they only ever got to see. “I’m fine, Allen. What about you?”

“A-are you sure you’re OK? Ah, um, I’m fine.” They now blinked. “And...where are we, exactly?”

“Wish I could answer that,” I replied, “But I have no idea. But we need to get out before we can figure it out. Can you bend the bars?”

“Um, I think so...” And so, gripping the bars, no master escape plan was needed – Allen’s strength ripped the bars open and bent them like plastic straws...Maybe paper straws. “Do you want me to do yours, too?”

“No, I want to stay here and rot.”

See, I was being sarcastic, but Allen didn’t catch that. Their eyes began to swell with tears, becoming visibly, incredibly upset. I quickly retracted my statement, and corrected myself. “I want to be let out, actually.”

The tears dried, but Allen still pouted. They walked through their newly opened cell and towards mine, and continued to pout at me as they opened the bars.

“Thank you.” I exhaled, having been tense once more at the realization that I was facing the stereotypical male dilemma: upset your girlfriend and die. Except this was like, ACTUAL death and not to my pride or reputation. No, we’re talking spinal cords here.

Moving on, the next step was to wake up Maria and get out of here. Allen would probably be a little grumpy at me for some time, but they were at least sweet on my niece. I knelt beside her, gently shaking her shoulder. “Hey, kid...we have to get out of here...”

Maria lifted her head, one eye covered by her hair and the other covered by a drooped rabbit ear. “Mmh…No.” She rested back down. She was not moving, apparently. This was a special type of situation, and not any type of situation I was enjoying. So I picked her limp body up and hoisted her over my shoulder. She didn’t protest because she was fast asleep.

Allen and I (and the unconscious Maria) now started on our way with no idea of where we were or why...Well, maybe we knew why if we assumed it was Edgar’s attempt to get rid of us….but we didn’t know how Edgar sent us here...What kind of power had he unlocked with his emeralds?

I found myself extending my free hand over to Allen’s, gently grasping it as I looked ahead. Technically they were MUCH stronger than I could ever be, but I still felt the need to be protective here...Wherever ‘here’ ended up being…

It wasn’t long before we would find out, based on the amount of creepy designs on every wall that strangely resembled the weird man I saw earlier. Even though I wasn’t sure, I was pretty positive this was some sort of structure belonging to him...Which when we knew jackshit about him, little details like that turned out to be not helpful in the slightest.

………..

…………………

…………………….

Eventually, and expectedly, we got lost. Maria woke up at some point and I made her walk, so she was glaring judgingly at me now. And Allen looked worried...I sorta just looked tired because really, that was my consistent mood.

But now we were going in circles, and I was getting increasingly annoyed.

“Are we at the exit yet, Uncle Nori?” whined the rabbit, tugging on his sleeve. For a fourteen year old, she was very childish. “Maria’s feet hurt.”

I mumbled a, “Not yet.” Oh, but my mistake was replying at all, because it soon turned into a game for her.

“How about now?”

“No.”

“Now?”

“ _No._ ”

“Mmh, now?”

“Maria, I don’t even know where the exit IS.”

“That sounds like a personal problem.” She hummed, “Because I saw a door a while ago that we could’ve used.”

Allen and I stopped and looked back at her. I personally stared in disbelief. “You found a way out? And you didn’t even mention it?” My declining mood was pretty obvious.

“If you weren’t busy brooding, maybe you’d have noticed it too.” Maria _tsk’d_ in a way that reminded me painfully of her father a bit earlier. I took a moment to think about that, unfortunately.

Maria was my niece, being my sister’s kid, but she was also Edgar’s daughter. Despite this, they were on totally opposite alignments...In tabletop RPG terms, Maria was some sort of chaotic good, and Edgar was more lawful evil. My sister, Emily, was sort of not either, but not fully neutral and leaning towards lawful good. How she ended up dating an asshole, we don’t really know. I’m not sure she even knew.

But said asshole was a problem to everyone since he showed up, and now he had sent me and Allen and his own daughter God knows where. He probably sent my other sister, Emi, and that Rennird guy here too, and I suddenly wondered if we should’ve checked the other cells back there for signs of those two…

Well, too late now. For now, we’d have to find the exit Maria had mentioned, and hope that it was really an exit…

………

……………….

……………………..

Soon, something else became apparent as we walked, though...We weren’t the only group here. Yeah, there was someone else. Multiple others, actually. I could tell because the emerald in my eye-patch was reacting something terrible. Allen, too, sensed something amiss – and they didn’t even need an emerald to do so.

Maria, meanwhile, was oblivious. Nobody is surprised by that. I gently grabbed her sleeve though to stop her along with me and Allen, and I started peering around. “Allen, can you sense that too?”

“…...Sense what?”

I paused. Okay, maybe their powers were a little limited. They were probably focused on Maria and I….

“The energies. They’re a little abnormal. Can you find them?”

They paused. They gazed at me for a moment...And then “Oh!” They pointed down the hall now, “Two rooms down from that light on the wall.” Took them a moment to detect, I guess. Still impressive if you ask me, but I’m biased…Said bias was not only because they were my girlfriend, but because they literally could kill me and chose not to out of pity.

But that aside, I wondered to myself now who else was here. They must’ve had a Pearl Emerald that Allen could sense, though...And that mine was reacting to. Were they friends? Enemies? We’d never know standing around there. So quietly, we made our way down the hall – with me holding Maria’s arm a bit tighter than should be necessary to keep her from running off like an idiot.

As we neared…

“...Tails, did you calibrate that right? You’re SURE it’s picking up something?”

“I’m sure, Sonic! There’s definitely an Emerald around here!” ...Tails? Sonic? Who the hell…?

Allen looked tense, and started walking in front of me, ears down. They were clearly still protective of me after the fight with Edgar… I reached out to gently squeeze their fingers with my free hand, trying to reassure them. At my touch they blinked and smiled at me – but I could tell it wasn’t fully genuine. Would’ve certainly fooled anyone else…

Of course, I forgot that I had been holding on to Maria with the hand I had used to hold Allen’s, so uh...She escaped. While I started looking around frantically for her, Allen pointed down the hall.

“Helloooo! Who are you guys?” came Maria’s voice...from the very same room we had heard ‘Tails’ and ‘Sonic’ from. Fucking hell, kid. Allen and I rushed to the room, and Maria turned away from a double-tailed fox about as tall as her and a blue hedgehog in red shoes.

Well, this was awkward.


End file.
